


Every Dream of You I've Had

by Teardropfires



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: I'm Bad At Summaries, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 01:48:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18955471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teardropfires/pseuds/Teardropfires
Summary: Ronan goes for a drive and stumbles into a dream.





	Every Dream of You I've Had

Ronan was angry.

He was often angry about something; chores around the barn, Declan, Gansey’s annoying habit of “checking in” on him by calling him repeatedly until he answered the fucking phone, Declan, messing up a dream item, Opal chewing on shit she wasn’t supposed to, most things that came out of Henry Cheng’s mouth, and Declan. More times than not, his eldest brother was the source of his hot mood, but not tonight. Tonight, that honor belonged to Adam Parrish. It stung more _because_ it was Adam. It made the heat in his veins boil hotter than they had in ages.

“Ronan, are you still there?” Adam said after what had been a very long, tense silence. “Did you hear what I said?”

“I fucking heard you,” Ronan hissed through clenched teeth.

“I didn’t mean to upse--”

“Too bad, Parrish. You did,” Ronan said, cutting him off.

“Oh, come on, Ro--” 

“Piss off.”

Ronan ended the call. He dropped his phone on his bed, retrieved the keys to the BMW, and walked out of his room just as his phone screen lit up with another incoming call from Adam.

He drove aimlessly. The bass music pumping from the stereo fueled his ire. He pressed harder on the gas pedal. The friction of the road below him hummed against his skin and he smiled: wild and reckless. He sped through the night until his mind went blank and dark as the surrounding night sky.

Ronan slowed as he approached a familiar set of trees, he couldn’t tell how he knew those trees were familiar, there was nothing physically special about them, they were fucking trees, but something about the way his skin tingled as he drove near them gave him pause.

He slowed the car down to a stop, put it in reverse, backed up then drove towards them. As he approached his headlights showed a familiar clearing opening up. His heart slammed against his chest as his foot slammed on the brakes.

“Kavinsky,” he breathed out as he starred at the entrance to what he now knew would lead him to the abandoned fairgrounds.

He wondered if the reject  Mitsubishi’s were still there. Curiosity made him press his foot back to the gas and slowly creep down the clearing. He could hear his heartbeat against his ears as his headlights beamed over the rows of defunct white cars.

He let out a long studdered breath, his hands gripped tight around the steering wheel.

“Alright,” He muttered under his breath. “You’ve seen them. Now you can leave.”

 He didn’t move.

“Turn the car around,” He said, “ And leave,”

Reason, manifested as the voices of Blue then Gansey, told him he was being an idiot and that their or better ways to handle his emotions. When a voice that started to sound like Adam chimed, he slienced it with the kill of the engine.

As he opened the door, the car lights turned off.

His eyes took what seems like ages to adjust to the darkness. When they did, he walked to the closest Mitsubishi. He dragged a finger across the hood as he passed the car that was leaning slightly to the left,  rough dusk collected under his fingers as he did, and when he got to the side of the car he realized that this version was missing a tire. Not just the tire, but the part of the axel that it would connect to.

Ronan huffed out a humorless laugh and opened the driver-side door and slid onto the seat.

 _It smells like him,_ he thought and then stilled, confused by where that thought had come from. Ronan was under no falsehood that he and Joseph Kavinsky had been _real friends_ , so the idea of knowing -- remembering -- what he smelled like seemed illogical. He shook his head and cleared the thought.

Ronan reached for the ignition, hoping for the keys to be hanging from it, but the space around it was empty as he touched. He sighed and let his hand fall away as his gaze drifted around the car. He opened up the center console and paused again. Without taking his gaze away he slowly reached above him to turn on the light. His heart studdered slightly as the light revealed a small clear bottle. Inside were a dozen of green little pills.

Maybe he imagined the small jolt of energy that shot through his arm as he picked them up. He twisted the cap off and poured a few into his hand. He moved his hand higher to the light, examining the pills. His gaze shifted to the row of other cars.

“I wonder if all these cars have your little starter pack, K,” Ronan muttered.

He put the pills back in the bottle and turned off the light. He got out the car and without even thinking walked over to the next one. Without checking for other defects, he opened the center console, turned on the light and found a small clear bottle with dozens of little green pills.

He moved on to the next one; same. And the one after that and the one after that.  After the sixth or the seventh car, he felt like he had enough to prove his theory to be true. Although the last two cars he had check had a large bag of what looked like cocaine, each of them had the small bottle of green pills.

Ronan stared down at the bottle of pills in his hand. He turned off the light to the car. He opened up the bottle of pills, poured one into his hand and looked down at it for a long time.

No one would care. His anger let him convince himself of that. He popped it into his mouth swallowing it dryly.

He closed his eyes and sighed as he let the drug take him under.

 

x

 

“Did you miss me, Lynch?”

Ronan’s eyes shot open at the sound of the unmistakable voice of Joseph Kavinsky.

He was still in the Mitsubishi when he took in his surrounding, but there was the bewildering addition of Joseph - fucking - Kavinsky.

“Fuck,” Ronan breathed out.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Kavinsky said, a smile crept slowly on his plump lips.

Ronan scowled.

“What are you doing here?”

“It’s your dream, sweetheart, you tell me,” Kavinsky said.

“I wouldn’t bring myself to this shit hole place in a dream,” Ronan said, gesturing to the car-littered fairground.

“Ah, but you did, Lynch.”

Hearing the way Kavinsky drawled out his name like no one had ever done before made goosebumps break out against his skin.

Kavinsky smirked.

Ronan looked away.

Minutes passed. Ronan felt like he kept waiting for Kavinsky to say something, anything to ruin the silence, something that would make him angrier; or angry again because at that moment he realized he wasn’t really all that angry anymore. He felt confused and tired. He sighed and looked back to Kavinsky.

“Aren’t you going to entertain me, Lynch.”

“Fuck you,” Ronan spat out.

“Ooh, with pleasure, girlie,” Kavinsky said, and without warning leaned against the center console and grabbed Ronan around the back of his neck. His mouth attacked Ronan’s with a painful clash of teeth against teeth and forced his tongue immediately into Ronan’s protesting mouth.

The familiar heat of anger rose in Ronan like wildfire and he pushed Kavinsky off him, but Kavinsky didn’t go far and only moved his hands from the back of Ronan’s neck to his front and abruptly started to choke him.

Ronan gasped, his hands clawed against the ones at his neck, and tried to pry them off.  Kavinsky just smiled and leaned in closer.

“I told you, Lynch,” He said and leaned and licked Ronan’s lips in a slow, messy sweep of his tongue. The saliva trail left behind felt oddly cold against Ronan’s skin.

“You’re either with me,” He tightened his grip and Ronan struggled to breathe and felt his consciousness slipping. 

“Or _Against me ,_ ” Kavinsky hissed. And without warning, he smashed Ronan’s head into the window.

 

X

 

Ronan woke up gasping for air. Heart thudding painfully in his chest he looked around or him, for Kavinsky. But he was alone again. His head ached with the phantom pain of his head cracking against the window, glass piercing his skin as it shattered with impact. 

He took a few minutes to collect himself and calm his breathing.

He left the pills.

 

X

 

 

Adam’s tri-colored car is parked in front of the barn when Ronan pulls up. He gets out of it when Ronan parks next to it.

Ronan doesn’t say anything as Adam gets into the car. He doesn’t look at him. Not even when Adam reaches over and turns down his music from eardrum bleeding inducing to a volume more reasonable.

“You know how long that drive is?”Adam said. And Ronan can hear the smile in his voice, he knows it’s meant as a joke, but he can feel the familiar simmer of anger low in his gut.

“No one asked you to come, Parrish.”

Adam doesn't say anything for a long time. Ronan doesn’t either.

“You didn’t pick up the phone,” Adam said after a while. After the tense silence got too much for him.

“Left it in my room.”

“Opal? Where is she? You just left her here?”

“She’s somewhere in there with my brother.”

“Declan?”

Ronan’s head snapped toward Adam to give him a disgusted look. Adam smiled.

“I’m joking. Lighten up, Lynch”

Ronan felt his body freeze, tense with anxiety at the mention of his last name. The last time it was said played on a loop in his head. _Lynch Lynch Lynch Lynch, Miss me, Lynch?_

Ronan jumped at the warm touch on his face. He flinched away from Adam so violently he hit his head against the window. _For the second time tonight,_ he thought. But then again… not really. 

He felt his anger transform into something different, something confusing, something he didn’t want.

“Ronan!” Adam said with the urgency of someone who’s been trying to reach someone for a long time. “Ronan, look at me.”

Ronan focused on Adam. They locked eyes with each other and Ronan’s heart rate started to slow. He felt his panic leeching from him as though it was being physically removed.

“What was that?” Adam asked after a few minutes of Ronan collecting himself.

“That was you pissing me off again.”

“Me touching you pisses you off?”Adam asked, his accent thicker as his nervousness started to get the better of him.

Ronan stared at him for a long moment.

Adam stared back.

“Don’t be stupid,” Ronan said finally. He reached and grabbed Adams hand and pulled him close to him. He could feel Adam’s sigh of relief feather warmly against his skin before their lips met in a chaste kiss.

And for the first time, it felt …

Not wrong. But not the same.

_Don’t be a fucking idiot, Ronan. It’s your boyfriend._

Ronan leaned in closer. Adam sighed into him, content. He pulled back and smiled.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” Adam said.

Ronan nodded and when Adam leaned in to kiss him again Ronan closed his eyes, and then it felt like a _dream_.

**Author's Note:**

> Ooooo it's been a minute, and I'm a little rusty so I hope you enjoy this. 
> 
> I'm not really a Rovinsky shipper, but I couldn't really stop thinking about JK how i wish things had ended differently for him. But¯\\_(ツ)_/¯not my series. I hope you guys like it.


End file.
